10 Quick Movie Reviews

Futurama - Bender's Big Score (2007)
9 out of 10 Stars. I liked this a lot, but don't take my word for it because I'm a big Futurama fan. Lots of inside jokes for the fans, and good fun from beginning to end. If you didn’t like Futurama you won’t like this, but personally I liked this better than the Simpsons movie.

I have tamed the mighty Ginny Pig!

Robocop (1987)
9 out of 10 Stars. This is good fun in a tin can that can shoot, punch and kick your ass. Seeing a guy melt in acid might have killed my inner child, but the emerging teenager knew that this was awesomeness. One of the few men that can kick the Terminator so hard in the balls, that his motherboard feels it.

Starting every day with a t-1000 smoothie.

Planet Terror (2007)
8 out of 10. The reason this is only eight and not ten is that giving a movie that tries to be "bad" ten seems kind of wrong... And let's face it; this movie does exactly what it tries to. Wonderfully tacky, bloody, sexual and bad! Enjoy this film with a Spaghetti Bolognese and a strong stomach.

BLAMO!

The Jacket (2005)
8 out of 10 Stars. I liked this film, but I do not think it’s for everyone. Jumping back and forward in time like some scientologist on LSD, this film must be seen with a rather patient attitude, and not asking to many questions. But not as confusing (or good) as “12 Monkeys” this is still a good movie.

Ok guys, the joke is getting old now, you can let me out...

WAR (2007)
7 out of 10 Stars. Good fun action without trying to be too deep, if you liked Crank or Transporter this is right up your ally, they shoot stuff, and then blow it up. This is a good movie to see when hung over or bored. (Not as good as either Transporter or Crank)

Jason Statham showing his expression

Charlie Chan at the Olympics (1937)
7 out of 10 Stars. This series is brimming with racial stereotypes, even having a white guy play the main Chinese guy, but if you see this movie (one of many Charlie Chan films) you just might like it. It's one of the better ones. Have fun!

Yes, I am velly velly Cinese. Not Amelican at all.

Bee Movie (2007)
6 out of 10 Stars. More of a “hmhm” funny rather than a “HAHA” funny. But still another movie about a bug, let’s make a deal... Animate something else than an insect next time ok? (And not a spider)

I am NOT the same as an Ant, they can't poke!

Batman vs Dracula (2005)
5 out of 10 Stars. The animation is rather bad and Batman is kind of emo. Batman should be tougher than this, and Dracula does not belong in this universe.... Get him the out!

uuuhhh... I... am sooo wasted.

Eragon (2006):
3 out of 10 Stars. I have never seen a fantasy flick where the main character grew up this fast, He literally went from being a childish farm boy to a dragon riding, spell tossing, war master in a matter of days. They didn't even throw in a montage, ending in a fade

Yes, you're right! It does smell burnt.

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
2 out of 10 Stars. When I first played Resident Evil in 1996 it scared me so bad I bit my fingers till they bled, but this movie is the furthest away from the scary you can get. Bad acting, bad story, weak (and constant) action and no likable characters kills this movie. Even Milla Jovovich’s nice ehh... everything can’t resurrect this film from the dead. Shame on you Paul W. S. Anderson for writing these shit films, you bitch. (And no I can’t do better)

Smooooke on the water, Fire in the sky!